Sunday, May 18, 2014

A Haul Of "James Yap"



I just found out that being compared to James Yap and/or being "addressed" as James Yap isn't good when you have your own identity. I feel like I cannot make it on my own, seriously. It's actually a pleasure and it increases my self-esteem, of course, who wouldn't want to have a resemblance of someone who's really good-looking? But when excess, it's quite idiocy, as if like it's a motif of genetic print.


I want to share all these conversations where I happened to be adopted by James' biological mother as his little brother, METAPHORICALLY SPEAKING..


When I was in 4th year high school, my English teacher happened to notice that resemblance, and that was the first James ball-throw.. During his term, we've had a numbering system.

Sir Carlo: Who's Rafhael Lorenzana?
Me: Sir! *raising my hand*
Sir Carlo: Oh! Okay! 18! James Yap!
Me: Po? 
Sir Carlo: You're number 18! Sakto! Kamukha mo si James Yap
Me: Eh what's with 18 po?
Sir Carlo: Jersey number niya.
Classmates: yun oh!!! James Yap! Purefoods player!
Me: Sir di naman *quite embarrassed* (I really thought that he was trippin' out)

So I was renamed as James Yap and it went a long way. 


*********************************************************************

When I was working as CSR..

T.L: May James Yap pala tayo dito sa team eh.

*that time, I knew that he was referring at me*

Co-officemates: Sir sino?

T.L: Eto oh! *pointing at me*

Co-officemates: tingnan nga namin! Woooww!!

*Diametrically, few of them were not convinced, but majority were.*

T.L: Brad tayo ka nga dito sa harap ng makita nila yung tatay ni Bimby

*I WAS SPEECHLESS THE WHOLE TIME, I DON'T KNOW IF I AM BEING EMBARRASSED OR BEING COMPLIMENTED* (All caps to feel the intensity of my feelings) LOL!*

Then after that, whenever I meet them inside the office, they used to greet me James Yap, then I've decided to use James as my name whenever I talk to customers.


****************************************************************

When I was walking along tiangge...


Girl Vendor 1: Uy!! Halika dali! May pogi!!!

Girl Vendor 2: Wait!! Oo nga! Kahawig ni James Yap!!

Girl Vendor 1: Oy James Yap!!

*I looked back. I did that because I'm used of my so-called name tag*


*********************************************************************

I just saw a comment on my friend's myspace account where my photos have been published..

Critic: Bro sino yan?
Friend: Si Ralph..
Critic: Parang binatang virgin na James Yap ito haha
Friend: Talaga? Hahaha
Critic: Oo.

I intervened..

Me: LOL! Ang layo naman po ng itsura namn. Masyadong gwapo yun para maging kamukha ko! Haha



******************************************************************

When I was buying at the wet market.. There was a guy vendor whose age is at 33, just a wild guess..

Me: Kuya magkano ho sa pork chop?
Vendor: Ilang kilo ba?
Me: hmm, mga 8 pieces lang po.
Vendor: *stated the price*
Me: Kukunin ko po
Vendor: May kamukha ka.
Me: Sino po? Si James Yap?
Vendor: Oo! Pano mo nalaman?
Me: Naku kuya! Di lang naman ikaw unang nagsabi niyan.
Vendor: Ayos ah! Eto oh.
Me: Salamat po.
Vendor: Salamat. Bumili pa sa'kin si James Yap. Hahaha!
Me: Hala! Di naman, si kuya! Hahaha


********************************************************************

I once involved myself in doing church activities, and I got the chance to become one of the youngest Lector in town. My co-Lectors introduced me to our priest, Father Niel.

Bro 1: Father, may bago po tayong Lector. Si Rafhael po
Me: Good Afternoon po father.
Priest: Magandang hapon din sa iyo hijo... Ang bata naman nitong bagong Lector natin, nakakatuwa.
          Ilang taon ka na ba?
Me: 19 po father.
Priest: Ano namang nakapag pa-decide sa'yo at nag Lector ka? Di ko naman sinasabing wag kang mag
          Lector, pero hijo aware ka naman siguro na ang simbahan ay hindi ginagamit upang magpabango ng
          pangalan. Ikaw ba'y kumakandidato sa kung saan man?
Me: Naku! Hindi po father. Nag Lector po ako kasi gusto ko po talagang magsilbi sa Diyos. Saka wala
       naman po akong pinapapabanguhan ng pangalan. Calling po talaga .
Bro 1: Bakit ho father?
Priest: Eh ke gwapong bata nere brother. Baka mamaya eh nauntog lang 'to kaya narito. Ere at kamukha
          pa nung nagbabasketball.. Si ano..
Bro 1: Sino po father?
Bro 2: Si ano, si Yap! Si Yap ba father?
Bro 1: James Yap?
Priest: Oo siya nga. Eh kita mo't artistahin ka pa. Ikaw ba'y handang maglingkod talaga?
Me: *chuckles* si father naman. Opo. Seryoso po ako sa pagle-Lector.
Priest: Kung gayon eh okay yan. Bihira na ang mga kabataang iniinvolve ang sarili sa simbahan. Masaya
            ako at pinalaki ka ng mga magulang mo na malapit sa Diyos.
Me: opo, eh religious lang ho talaga :)
Priest: Oh siya James, este, ano ulit pangalan mo?
Me: Rafhael po :)
Priest: Brother Rafhael, welcome to the Ministry of Lectors :)

That one really cracked something so cultural. Hahaha


**************************************************************************


While I was riding on the bus, going home from SM North to Bulacan. I was standing the whole trip because seats were fully occupied by the passengers..

Bus Conductor: Boss, kayo ho?
Me: (Name of our place) po. Estudyante.
Bus Conductor: I.D po?
Me: Wait lang po.......... kuya eto.
Bus Conductor: Ikaw ba 'to?

My ID has my other picture being pasted on it because I don't really like the ID picture itself.

Me: Oo naman kuya, bakit? Gusto mo kuya tanggalin ko yung picture?
Bus Conductor: Kala ko si James Yap eh.
Me: Akala ko naman kung ano, hahaha, ako yan kuya.
Bus Conductor: Kundi lang Lo-ren-za-na apelyido mo iisipin kong kapatid mo si James Yap.
Me: Ganun? Kuya wag ka nang maingay, pinagtitinginan na tayo nung mga pasahero.
Bus Conductor: Nahiya ka pa, gwapo ka naman.
Me: *face down, totally embarrassed*
Bus Conductor: Oh James Yap! I.D mo.
Me: Si kuya kasi eh, nakakahiya -_-

SEVERE!!! I don't know if it's a form of humiliation since I'm really humble. Hahaha!


*************************************************************************

When I was reciting in my professor's subject, Filipino...

Me: *reciting*........ *finished*
Prof: oo tama yun.... Teka lang hijo, tayo ka nga ulit..
Me: Po? Bakit ma'am? *nervous, I thought I've done something offensive*
Prof: Kanina pa kita pinagmamasdan eh, may kamukha ka..
Me: Po? Sino po ma'am?
Prof: Alam mo yung Binoy Henyo? Yung tatay ni Binoy.
Me: Si Luis Alandy ma'am?
Prof: Oo! Si Luis Alandy!
Me: ngek! Parang di naman..
Angelique: Ma'am si James Yap kaya kahawig niyan. Diba Migs? Pinagkakalat mo nga eh haha
Me: LOL! Sila nagsasabi, ako nga tong todo tanggi.
Prof: James Yap? Hawig din nga niya. Aba hijo! Dami mo palang kahawig. O sige upo ka na.


*********************************************************************

When I was on my way to school, these two tricycle drivers around the area asked if I'd take a ride..

T.D 1: James Yap! Pa-autograph!
T.D 2: Sino? 
T.D 1: Ayun oh!
T.D 2: Ahhhh! Yung anak ni ate Emma! James Yap sasakay ka?
Me: Huh? Di naman! Sasakay ako kahit di ninyo sabihin yan kasi late na ko. Di ninyo ko kailangang bolahin.
T.D 2: Sus! Kamukha mo kasi, sakay na!
Me: Hahahaha sabi ninyo eh
T.D 2: Kamusta ba kayo ni Kris?
Me: Break na kami diba? Gusto ko ng bagong asawa kaya ko hiniwalayan. Gusto ko mas bata at
       mas sexy. Hahaha



And so on...... I've been receiving these comparison for 6 years and I can actually say that I am used of those. The haul of James Yap has a long way to go, but if you'd ask me, I won't accede. Simply because I don't really see him on me. :)



Now Playing: It Will Rain - Bruno Mars
                    : Rafhael Lorenzana




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